Dreams

Last night, I had a huge sequence of dreams. And since I have nothing to do, and rarely dream like this anymore, I figured I should write them down.

In the first one, I am sitting in a glass house by a little river, talking to a girl I used to know.  It's dusk, and the purple shades make strange shadows in the house, but illuminate the world outside. She and I are sitting on the floor by the windows, talking quietly of her engagement, and my heart burns as I look out at the gentle river and the dark reflections of the trees in the seemingly still water.

I'm locked out of my old apartment since I had to give up my key earlier than was convenient for me. I have to go pick up my laundry off of campus. Next thing I know, I'm walking south of campus with my laundry basket, but it's impossibly heavy. I slowly drop a little pile of clothes every block or so, on the sidewalk as I go, but the basket doesn't get any lighter, even when there's only a few clothes left in it. I look behind me and see the clumps of my dirty laundry left all over and I feel ridiculously humiliated, and annoyed that I had to give them all up.

I'm in the old car of my brother-in-law's (Artax), in the backseat; Dave is  driving and in the front seat is a little boy who is going to take a test at the Testing Center on campus. It's last minute, and Dave only has stunted, unsharpened pencils.  I hand the kid my purple pencil sharpener that I have in my purse. Next moment, I'm standing by the Joseph Smith Building with the boy sitting on one of the benches. It's dusk again, although the light is tilted, golden, soft. A man passes by who I do not see, and I suddenly hear "Casper's Lullaby." I know I'm supposed to be helping the little boy get ready, but I collapse onto the cold sidewalk and start sobbing. The boy watches me, silently. And then I realize that he's supposed to take my Marriage Prep final for me and I feel shame that I'm not able to take it myself. The lullaby keeps on playing and I keep on crying, and the boy watches me without moving or making a sound.

These dreams all seem to center around one theme that is very obvious to me, which is kind of fun--I love when dreams make sense to me, have some kind of pattern. But ouch...

For anyone who cares, Keith Gravley has been in ICU all week, but as of this morning, he was released.

And my step-dad's father passed away this week, early Wednesday morning. He's been in and out of the hospital this past year. Fortunately, my step-dad was able to get to Minnesota and be with his dad a couple of hours before he died. My step-dad is going to be there through all of next week, helping out his mom, and my mom is flying out on the 26th to be there for the funeral that will be on Tuesday. It's possible that Bill's mom will be living with us sometime next year, once she gets everything in order. It's kind of been a turbulent week for my family.