Just My Usual

I've been sick as a dog since Friday night and I think I'm going to take tomorrow off from work, much as I hate doing that. I was kicked out of the house for all of Saturday when I all I wanted to do was sleeeeeep. My mom had a bunch of old high school friends in town and there was no place for them to sleep unless I was gone. Slept over at my sister's and Kelli drugged me twice while feeding me delicious soup and other healthy foods. I slept a ton and still felt miserable, but they were sweet to have me over and risk infection, especially since they had a guest of their own from out of town.

I found a gorgeous song that I wanted to share here (the true purpose of this post). It's so rare for me to find any music that moves me and takes me to a better place, so I get very excited when I discover one.

Well, I guess it has been three months since I last posted anything, so here's an update:

-Mom and I moved into a smaller house last month. Aunt Cyndi came up for a few days to help, which was amazing of her to do. My mom has SO MUCH STUFF.

-Work is torture. For many a reason. I may have seriously cried in one of the stalls one day. Or two.

-School starts in two weeks and I am utterly dreading this semester. I did so poorly in spring quarter and my mentality towards everything in this topic, and I guess in everything else in life, has diminished to nothing. I feel nothing, except an ineptnes, failure, self-disgust, until, in the next point, where...

-I found a TV series that is better than the books by a landslide! Outlander! Scots, sexxxxy accents, beautiful acting and scenery that takes me completely out of my crappy life and make me feel giddy and excited about what can never happen in my own. The books are fun, but soooooo dramatic without any relief. Personal tastes, whatever. The show is wonderful. And, you know, it's for women. It has gotten me through many a rough moment this past month. And I might be watching it over and over every day.






Honestly, what woman could resist that?!!!

Anways, moving on to a less pleasant reality:

-I weigh more than I ever have in my life.

-I don't have any friends up here. I'm lonely. All the time. Unless I'm not feeling anything. I've really, really degenerated socially and, well, self-esteem-ally. And spark-of-life-ally. I have none. But,

-I'm excited to get away with Nikki this weekend on our hiking/camping trip (she's flying up from San Diego). It's been so long and I can't wait to leave this all behind for just a little while and be with my sister. I'll probably end up crying on this trip too, but that's okay. At least I'll be feeling something.

-I hope your psyche is doing better than mine.