Well, this week certainly hasn't gone as planned. I've been sick since Saturday. Went in for my first day on Monday, then called out sick Tuesday, Wednesday, and today.  Bad as the congestion, coughing, and sore throat are, it's the fatigue that is really hitting me. Been sleeping over 12 hours at night and then another six hours during the day, every day. And, of course, drinking tons of water, tea, hot cocoa, and eating almost nothing. I've never been hit so hard by a cold before.

And since it's been three days, I have to provide a doctor's note to keep my brand new job, so I went and saw a doctor today for the first time in over ten years, which was a strange experience for me, Shockingly, there really wasn't anything they could do, except to say treat the symptoms. Hahaha.   But I got my doctor's note. They told me that because I have a fever, I shouldn't go in to work tomorrow, but Monday should be okay.

I've never missed four days of work in a row for an illness. I feel pretty awful still, but I really don't think sitting on my ass for another day is going to help. And I'll have the weekend to sleep. So, gonna psyche myself into going again...but really, I am tired. I get up and walk around a little bit and I have to sit back down pretty quickly.

Okay, so undecided. But I know I should just go in. It's just one day and now that I have my ID and parking sticker and know where to park and won't be accosted by security, I think it will be okay. I have the mask I was given by the doc's office, too, which is good.

Maybe next week, right? You know, the first year marker of Dad's death, on Monday. Fuck.

I still haven't written it down in full, that experience of watching my dad die a slow, horrible death. I don't think I ever will. But I wish I had someone to talk to about it who's outside of my family. It's great to have a a ton of sisters who were there and who get it, but one thing that really struck home during that time was that they all had someone outside of our immediate family, a spouse or boyfriend, or a really close friend, to turn to and talk to, someone outside of the tangled, toxic history.

Guess it's time I really considered therapy.

Have a song. Or three!