Change

My entire job at work has changed. Soon, we will be relocating to a new place and then my job will change again. I'm about to buy my first car. My step-dad has moved out and he took my darling cat away tonight. She's been such a comfort to me the past six months and I love her so much, but she's my step-dad's cat and now she's gone. Pathetic as it sounds, but she's been my only friend this whole year and it's killing me not having her here in this house anymore. Not to mention I've never had a pet before Sammy---it just hurts. My mom is trying to sell this house, and hopefully it will, and then we'll be moving.

Everything major always seems to happen at one time. And I just hate feeling this awful sense of loss again. I haven't felt this in a while and I hate it. I hate it. Because then I'm reminded of a whole lot of other crap that still hurts when it surfaces. Why does everything have to be connected to everything in my brain, everything in my life?

I miss her and her sweet, crazy personality. I keep forgetting and expect to find her under my feet or curled up on my bed and she's not there. And then I hits me all over again. God, I have been crying the whole time I've typed this out. It's gonna be a long, quiet, lonely week with Mom in Utah for Education Week. And I'll just go ahead and admit this, I'm going to cry every time I come home to this empty, Sammy-less house.