I know it's a good thing, I KNOW it's a good thing, but I can't deny that it still hurts. The glow is gone. IT'S A GOOD THING. He's irritating the hell out of me and it's a good thing to be angry rather than absolutely, pathetically seduced/silenced. But I'm also confused. Where did the basic layer of semi-friendliness go? Did he suddenly become intolerant of our chitchat, our incompetence? The dead robot tone, technical language, and blank face say it all. Poor, infallible know-it-all, having to try to clean up the mess made by Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum. Grrrr. And to think I had once imagined there was a spark there (a small spark, aye, but a spark all the same). Always appreciate these wakeup calls. But it sure takes the tang out of life. 

Ended up crying at work a few times today over my dad! First, just the email I got from my manager regarding bereavement was so kind, it completely shocked me. I'm always undone by kindness. Had to go cry in a restroom stall for a little bit, right at the beginning of my shift. I guess that email made it more real, somehow. Then these random, rare, good memories with my dad kept creeping into my mind. They are so rare and so brief, it's ridiculous, and yet I started crying several times while at my desk and I really had to work to reign those emotions in. So unexpected! Almost as if the negative experiences had never happened. I've never ever felt like that before. It disappeared eventually, of course, but still, wow. 

Would write more, but homework calls.