More news on my dad. He likes to play his stupid games of control and has this gigantic blind spot when it comes to interacting with people, especially his family. But he has finally told my sister that he has filed for disability with his work and then actually voiced aloud to Julie that he wants her to make his medical decisions if he is unable to, but made it clear that he does not want to be on life support. Of course, that doesn't mean he has anything in writing. He won't tell us if he has made a will, he won't tell us what he wants for burial...or does he want cremation? He won't say. He doesn't talk to any of his brothers, he doesn't tell his parents anything, we're all kept in the dark as far as what he actually wants for himself, which is strange, considering that the fact that he's soooo controlling--wouldn't having all his wishes set in stone legally be something that would give him a sort of sense of satisfaction or relief, even though it's morbid to think about? And maybe he does...he just won't tell us.

Julie says every time she sees him, which is every couple of days, he looks worse and worse. And he can hardly take care of himself, the house is a cesspool every time she goes over and cleans up. I don't know how he was working all this time! And Julie thinks that he's lied to her a bit--she thinks he's been on disability for a while and just has been hiding the fact, She has her reasons for this.

Kjerstie's flying down there this weekend to try to get some answers out of him and get a real look of his situation. We don't know anything about his health insurance, what could be covered, considering hospice, etc. And I don't want to go into the graphic details of what he's experiencing as told to me by Julie, but it sounds like he has weeks...not months.

I haven't seen him in two years, not since I left in Jan 2013 after living with him for six months, back when he first started treatment. I think I might take a Friday off in a week or two and fly down there for a weekend. Even though I'm in the midst of the projects and exams and stressing out to no end over school, this is just something that I need to do.