I had a productive, normal, happy-feeling evening. First time in MONTHS:

-Deposited check from Dad's estate in the amount I had contributed to fix up the house...oh, you know, $10,000. That was how much we each got from his 401k No biggie. ("Umm, WHAT?!!" you shout in your head). And we should be getting another 10 grand once everything else gets paid off, due to profits from selling the house. And then, of course, there was the life insurance we split between us that Dad meant for his millionaire brother to have (lucky he picked Uncle Chris, who was too good to keep it and insisted that "your dad would want you girls to have it." Baahahahahaha. The lies we tell). With that in play, between five of us, we each got $90,000 from Dad's death. And Julie and Bobby get an extra....wait, was this information too specific?? Are the evil people going to come after me now. Maybe. Shitheads.

-Cleaned kitchen/did dishes/took out garbage/took garbage cans out to street

-Brought in mail (yeah, you heard me. Pro-active!!!!)

-Cleaned my bathroom after, you know, a month

-FINALLY cleared out the clog in my bathroom sink that I've been tolerating/ignoring for MONTHS

-Reorganized the crap under the sink

-Took a look at my crammed closet and ran to get some boxes from the garage. Packed up all the stuff I love but won't actually need for the next couple of months. Came out with four giant, heavy boxes and now I can actually see what's in my closet and I have access to all my dresser drawers for clothes, which, in turn, allows me to see how little I have in the way of a wardrobe. Which I already knew, but seeing it makes a major difference. Worked on this for over two hours!

Tomorrow:

Make appt with optometrist (my eyesight has been seriously blurry/degenerating since April...and it's been four years since I last saw a doc)
Fandango tickets
Work on cleaning the rug of shame (bad cats!!)
Clean the house since Mom has company Wednesday night and we're hosting Thanksgiving!!!
Work on Xmas lists

My goal is to find a new job by the end of January. Once I've found said job, the goal will be to move out within two months. BOOM! Plans/drama within the family died down and my one happy hope died with it. But I'm getting over it and now is the time to focus. Because I can't stand my job,  I cannot stand living in this house with my mother anymore, it's her house, not mine, and what were the last two years of schooling for if I don't pursue a different position? And I need to effing grow up. There is literally nothing holding me back. Not money (obviously), not school, no personal situation happening, just the sheer combination of laziness/fear/self-loathing/self-destructive tendencies. Grrr. But today, I'm feeling none of that! And hopefully tomorrow, I'll still feel the same.