And some Leslie Knope:
And DJ Roomba
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Twixt Firelight and Water
I hate that the book industry is going down. I understand how the new technology is convenient, maybe even practical in some cases, but to the true book lover, how on earth could anyone possibly relinquish the feel of a book, the smell and rustle of its pages, the physical object itself? I feel like I'm looking at screens all the time as it is, and I never want to read an entire book from a screen, even if it is altered to not affect the eyes.
Because of this shift in the industry, this short story shown above is completely inaccessible to me. Because this story is part of an Australian anthology, it is only accessible as an E-book. Libraries don't have it here in the U.S. It is BEYOND frustrating. But I still refuse to buy a Kindle, even if I never find out what happened in Ciaran's past, a character who is one of the true enigmas in Marillier's work.
P.S. Yes, yes, I know I could order the whole anthology from Australia, so it's not completely inaccessible, but I'm too proud for that just now. Grrrrrrrr.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Hole in a Balloon
Back in December, I put up a post on my brother-in-law's brother, Keith Gravley. He's back in the hospital, has been for several days. At first, they thought it was pneumonia, but it turns out that his main left artery in his heart is not working very well and it is because of this that fluid is building up in his lungs. The doctors have tried a few different things, but they have said this morning that the only option left, after waiting a day or two to see if Keith's body can manage to get rid of the fluid, is to open up his chest in a very risky surgery as his other arteries are still healing from the last surgery and other complications. I don't have all the details, but that is where it stands. The doctors have tried everything except this last option. My sister, Julie, says it doesn't look good at all, that her husband and in-laws are all freaking out. This is such an awful thing to happen--Keith is only 27 years old. Of course, they knew after the last surgery that they weren't out of the woods, and probably never would be, but this is so soon.
Here's a new find that Nikki posted on Facebook, a cover of a song by The Smiths. I love, love, love slow songs that build up like this.
Here's a new find that Nikki posted on Facebook, a cover of a song by The Smiths. I love, love, love slow songs that build up like this.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Align, Alight, Infinite
It's funny how memories and emotions can be tied to one particular song. You can forget it all, not think about it for months, years, and then the song comes on and it all rushes back as fresh and as real as that time had once been. As if you were suddenly placed in that moment again, that it was the present again, not the past.
This is one of those songs for me.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Night Owl
Well, Kjerstie and Kelli left about fifteen minutes ago (after dinner and 3 hours of playing games--so fun!) and my parents went to bed right after they left-- 9:30pm. It's just me in my room for the next 6 hours because, as usual, I've turned into a creature of the night. This always happens when I don't have any place to be in the morning...or afternoon...but I've never experienced this in the winter, so it feels like I never see the sun. Which is stupid. I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm too passive and lazy to make an effort right now. Why do I NOT have obligations during normal human hours? I'm too embarrased to answer that one right now.
So. This week, I've been working like a maniac on revamping my mother's old family photo albums that are attached to acidic paper that she made back in the early 1980's. I finished three albums in six days, while listening to lectures from The Teaching Company on the operas of Mozart and a basic, but long introduction to astronomy. I've put in almost twenty hours with that one and I'm still not halfway through!!
I'm still not consistent whatsoever with running, but when I do get myself out of bed and outside, I never regret it. It is so beautiful here with the trees and the quiet roads. I love it, love it, love it. Just gotta keep working on it.
My step-dad went out and bought me another bookcase today, which I put together on my own! First time I've ever done that, being one of the baby siblings that was always "in the way." Feeling pretty good about that stud of a bookcase standing there. And I really needed one! I had somehow managed to cram every single book and dvd onto the other bookcase in this room, but everything was in piles and in layers. And what's pathetic is that I HAVE gone through my books and dvd's, several times, to see if I was willing to part with any of them. HAH! I've given away a handful. I'm not ready to say good-bye to these beauties.
Right. As far as reading goes, I've been completely ignoring my reading list that I made up a few months ago. Instead, I've been reading Harry Potter and a novel on Mary, Queen of Scots, and occasionally I'll drop both of those to go breeze through one of the books I loved when I was a kid, and still love. I'll tackle the somewhat difficult but absolutely amazing Virgina Woolf another day.
Tomorrow, Nikki is driving Keith, her boyfriend, to the airport, which is only 45 minutes from here. Currently, she is living in Bellingham, which is about three hours away. And since she was already planning to come down on Monday to help my oldest sister, Kjerstie, build a chicken coop, she's going to stay over the weekend! And. We. Are. Going. Hiking!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not sure where, exactly, there are a million options here in this state, but we'll figure it out when Mom can have her say on the distance. Nikki and I are hoping we can do ten miles.
Well, that's my life as of late. Back to Hogwarts! Pip pip!
So. This week, I've been working like a maniac on revamping my mother's old family photo albums that are attached to acidic paper that she made back in the early 1980's. I finished three albums in six days, while listening to lectures from The Teaching Company on the operas of Mozart and a basic, but long introduction to astronomy. I've put in almost twenty hours with that one and I'm still not halfway through!!
I'm still not consistent whatsoever with running, but when I do get myself out of bed and outside, I never regret it. It is so beautiful here with the trees and the quiet roads. I love it, love it, love it. Just gotta keep working on it.
My step-dad went out and bought me another bookcase today, which I put together on my own! First time I've ever done that, being one of the baby siblings that was always "in the way." Feeling pretty good about that stud of a bookcase standing there. And I really needed one! I had somehow managed to cram every single book and dvd onto the other bookcase in this room, but everything was in piles and in layers. And what's pathetic is that I HAVE gone through my books and dvd's, several times, to see if I was willing to part with any of them. HAH! I've given away a handful. I'm not ready to say good-bye to these beauties.
Right. As far as reading goes, I've been completely ignoring my reading list that I made up a few months ago. Instead, I've been reading Harry Potter and a novel on Mary, Queen of Scots, and occasionally I'll drop both of those to go breeze through one of the books I loved when I was a kid, and still love. I'll tackle the somewhat difficult but absolutely amazing Virgina Woolf another day.
Tomorrow, Nikki is driving Keith, her boyfriend, to the airport, which is only 45 minutes from here. Currently, she is living in Bellingham, which is about three hours away. And since she was already planning to come down on Monday to help my oldest sister, Kjerstie, build a chicken coop, she's going to stay over the weekend! And. We. Are. Going. Hiking!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not sure where, exactly, there are a million options here in this state, but we'll figure it out when Mom can have her say on the distance. Nikki and I are hoping we can do ten miles.
Well, that's my life as of late. Back to Hogwarts! Pip pip!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Every Day
It would be nice if I could shake this off, if I could stop dreaming about it almost every night. Why can't I let this go? It doesn't even feel like any of it ever happened. It drags me down the minute I turn out the lights at night, it drags me down when I wake up in the morning. And every moment inbetween when I'm not distracted.
It's been too long. And I'm so tired.
It's been too long. And I'm so tired.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Starlight and That Old Allure
I remember being fourteen years old. I remember the cold stars, the cold night air after my first dance on New Year's Eve. The dance itself was not particularly significant, and yet it was. It was the first time I ever felt beautiful. I was wearing make-up for the first time and my older sisters had dressed me up, put my hair up. And, inexplicably, while at the dance itself, I had felt a connection with a boy in the ward that I had never considered before. Maybe those things had something to do with the sensation I felt when I stepped out into the wintry night, the one moment from that night that is emphasized in my memory. I was with a group of kids, getting a ride home, but they weren't people I really knew or liked, even though they were in my ward. I can't remember why, but we ended up standing outside for a few minutes before piling in the car. The others talked or complained; some were tired since it was after 1am, a delicious, mysterious hour to me-I had never been out that late before. I stared and stared at the "cold fires" in the sky and felt I had passed into another world, sometime that night, without realizing it. While the haunting track of "Gollum's Song" ran through my mind--my sisters and I had listened to The Two Towers soundtrack while getting ready earlier in the evening and its eerie feel had gotten a hold of me. I felt that beautiful, quiet, yet overwhelming wonder at the indifferent world. And I was filled with hope for something to come.
I haven't thought about that night in a long time. I never wrote anything about it in my journals either. And I probably shouldn't publish this on my blog. I'll end up coming back and editing pieces of it obsessively for the next couple of days.
I think my point is that I view the world a little bit differently now. In my early teens', I always felt I was about to happen upon something amazing and profound, something that would make me blaze and shimmer like a burning star, transform me into my truest self. I already glowed at simple, delightful things that seared and mesmerized me--rain, trees, the cold, music that held the elusive qualities that were waiting for me. Those things still make me glow. But back then, I believed I would find this great alluring something. Under all the horrible embarrassments and skirmishes, the silly dramas of middle school, and the insecurities, there was always that hope that was almost certainty that I would find it. It beckoned around every corner, in every look, in the wind outside. It was there. And I guess the whole point to this long, dramatic entry is that I miss that feeling, even though it feels impossible that I could ever have felt that.
I know I'm not that old, that I'm barely considered an adult, but I feel very separate from that earlier time.
I haven't thought about that night in a long time. I never wrote anything about it in my journals either. And I probably shouldn't publish this on my blog. I'll end up coming back and editing pieces of it obsessively for the next couple of days.
I think my point is that I view the world a little bit differently now. In my early teens', I always felt I was about to happen upon something amazing and profound, something that would make me blaze and shimmer like a burning star, transform me into my truest self. I already glowed at simple, delightful things that seared and mesmerized me--rain, trees, the cold, music that held the elusive qualities that were waiting for me. Those things still make me glow. But back then, I believed I would find this great alluring something. Under all the horrible embarrassments and skirmishes, the silly dramas of middle school, and the insecurities, there was always that hope that was almost certainty that I would find it. It beckoned around every corner, in every look, in the wind outside. It was there. And I guess the whole point to this long, dramatic entry is that I miss that feeling, even though it feels impossible that I could ever have felt that.
I know I'm not that old, that I'm barely considered an adult, but I feel very separate from that earlier time.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Goals for 2012
I can't get enough of the rain here. There have been a few rainless days since I came up here (and they have been beautiful), but I'm never disappointed to wake up to that soft pattering and cloudy sky, and the presence of dark-green trees. I still can't believe that I don't ever have to leave this place, that I'm fully done with school. And yes, I am definitely done with school. My freak-out from last time was over the fact that I was not listed as a graduate on my school records, even a week after my grades were up online. Yes, yes, the holidays, the offices aren't open, who's there to list me off as a graduate, right? I just wasn't sure how this was done...and I have a gift for making mountains out of molehills, as some of you might have noticed. Over-reaction is my middle name. But I've since heard from the college and everything's fine and dandy. No problems whatsoever. Yay.
There's so much I've never bothered to blog about that happened over the holidays. But it's not like this is a journal. Which reminds me, I need to pull out my beautiful leather journal sometime and bring that thing up to speed. Daaaaang.
Well, here are the goals I came up with for the year 2012:
1. Start an exercise regime. This isn't simply about losing weight. I want to make this a habit. I've been a sedentary creature for my whole life and I want to change. And with this incredible landscape around me...incentive shouldn't be a problem.
2. Find a job! Any paying job for now, but I want to scope out for one with the potential for growth. What kind of job? Still figuring that one out.
3. I said this last year and failed utterly, but I want to figure out my spirituality. I've turned into such a skeptic the past few years, and everything to do with the LDS church is tied too strongly to painful experiences in my past, in my family. I'm skeptical and I'm bitter, but...there are three very strong and very personal reasons why I can't flat out say no to it all. And have I ever really tried or been consistent? No. So, this year, I am going to try. "Baby steps, baby steps."
4. Start painting again. My mom gave me a beautiful set of paints last Christmas, and one of my sisters gave a me a motherload of canvases this Christmas. And once again, this landscape/climate is incredible, so incentive shouldn't be so hard.
5. Learn how to cook real food, which ties into #6.
6. Eat better food. Have a healthier, more balanced diet. Just smaller and healthier portions. Hah. We'll see how this one goes.
7. Learn how to crochet. Or some other craft. I haven't done any crafts in a long, long time.
8. Pull out my old "manuscript" from 2010 and start working on that thing again.
9. Read!! Lots and lots of reading! Which won't be a difficult goal at all. I have a huge list of books waiting for me.
10. Try to be less of a narcissist. Try to quit living in my head, quit daydreaming. Be more involved in what's happening around me.
11. Volunteer at a library. Get some experience, even if I don't end up getting a Master's in Library Science. Libraries are my happy place.
12. Write in my journal once a week.
13.
Too many? I'm sure I could think of more, but I'm calling it quits here.
There's so much I've never bothered to blog about that happened over the holidays. But it's not like this is a journal. Which reminds me, I need to pull out my beautiful leather journal sometime and bring that thing up to speed. Daaaaang.
Well, here are the goals I came up with for the year 2012:
1. Start an exercise regime. This isn't simply about losing weight. I want to make this a habit. I've been a sedentary creature for my whole life and I want to change. And with this incredible landscape around me...incentive shouldn't be a problem.
2. Find a job! Any paying job for now, but I want to scope out for one with the potential for growth. What kind of job? Still figuring that one out.
3. I said this last year and failed utterly, but I want to figure out my spirituality. I've turned into such a skeptic the past few years, and everything to do with the LDS church is tied too strongly to painful experiences in my past, in my family. I'm skeptical and I'm bitter, but...there are three very strong and very personal reasons why I can't flat out say no to it all. And have I ever really tried or been consistent? No. So, this year, I am going to try. "Baby steps, baby steps."
4. Start painting again. My mom gave me a beautiful set of paints last Christmas, and one of my sisters gave a me a motherload of canvases this Christmas. And once again, this landscape/climate is incredible, so incentive shouldn't be so hard.
5. Learn how to cook real food, which ties into #6.
6. Eat better food. Have a healthier, more balanced diet. Just smaller and healthier portions. Hah. We'll see how this one goes.
7. Learn how to crochet. Or some other craft. I haven't done any crafts in a long, long time.
8. Pull out my old "manuscript" from 2010 and start working on that thing again.
9. Read!! Lots and lots of reading! Which won't be a difficult goal at all. I have a huge list of books waiting for me.
10. Try to be less of a narcissist. Try to quit living in my head, quit daydreaming. Be more involved in what's happening around me.
11. Volunteer at a library. Get some experience, even if I don't end up getting a Master's in Library Science. Libraries are my happy place.
12. Write in my journal once a week.
13.
Too many? I'm sure I could think of more, but I'm calling it quits here.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Distractions and a Simmering Panic
Current books: Surfacing by Margaret Atwood; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (it's definitely time to read these again!)
Newly discovered show: The Big Bang Theory
Current song I'm listening to while writing this thing: Sextape by Deftones. Judge away. Or take a listen.
Current mood: Frustrated. Scared.
Latest acquistion: A used bike (thanks Kjerstie!) and running shoes. Transportation to potential jobs and an incentive to get in shape. Wooh!!
Goals for tomorrow: Make goals for the new year (yeah, a little late); have fun on Nikki's last day before she moves.
Bachelor Degree: Acquired?? Why/HOW is that even a question that I have to freak out over?!!!!!! But it will be fine..it should be fine. I did everything right. I know I did.
Good-night.
Newly discovered show: The Big Bang Theory
Current song I'm listening to while writing this thing: Sextape by Deftones. Judge away. Or take a listen.
Current mood: Frustrated. Scared.
Latest acquistion: A used bike (thanks Kjerstie!) and running shoes. Transportation to potential jobs and an incentive to get in shape. Wooh!!
Goals for tomorrow: Make goals for the new year (yeah, a little late); have fun on Nikki's last day before she moves.
Bachelor Degree: Acquired?? Why/HOW is that even a question that I have to freak out over?!!!!!! But it will be fine..it should be fine. I did everything right. I know I did.
Good-night.
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